N

All during our holiday last weekend, my mind was whirling about, swimming in the pool of emotions beginning with N. I had almost made up my mind, when on our return back home, my garden greeted me with the season’s first daffodils. I simply had to change my mind when my garden screamed out the word to me. 

Its not really an emotion. Well only sort of. But it definitely is a strong feeling when it asserts itself.

I’ve often wondered how egocentric we are. I think it must be an extension to survival of the self. 

It's not really an emotion but I guess feeling self oriented is a most natural feeling. Most people are not by and large selfish. I  know I am not. But there are times though, when it just crawls through. 

And its not just me. So many people I know ask me how I feel, when all they want to do is hear themselves talk, and I've often struggled to get a word in edgewise.

"So how was your day?"

"Well, uh..."

"Oh my day was so terrible. I went out to the grocers, I did the cleaning, and then I got the most horrible headache and no one wanted to help me and..."

Perhaps that was because you didn’t want to listen to others, you peacock! Just like you don’t want to listen to my story. Even though you asked me how my day was. Harrummph!

The classic struggle of self importance. When everyone is thinking of I, me and myself, it can be quite a comical ballet. Each one talks while no one listens. Vanity must be a lonely, lonely state. No vain person can live alone for vanity must be fed by others, but who would want to live with a vain person?

But I digress. I didn’t want to talk about egotism, I merely wanted to mention the ephemeral feeling which visits us, every now and then, to step into a realm when we are the kings and everything revolves around us. Most of us don’t really want to talk about ourselves all the time. We are not filled with the conceited sense of selfishness.

It’s a mere tinge of that very strong sense of arrogance which creeps into the most humble of us. This post is a dedication to those times when we feel the need to assert that individual streak in each of us, that which makes us more different than alike. Which, like the waves of a lake lap the shore fleetingly, a dim version of the malady. (I wonder if anyone noticed how many times I used the words I or me? )

N is for Narcissism