Ever notice how people dance? Every day, every moment, every interaction, a dance.
When two best friends meet after weeks apart. A nice salsa.
The guy is visited by his girlfriend who lives a hundred miles away. A slow jazz dance.
"So!" (smile)
"Ya, so! how are things?" (broader smile)
"Oh you know, same as usual." (Where do I start?)
"Ya, with me too!" (Where do I start?)
"Its so terrible nowadays, no? Raining more than usual." (Why am I talking about the weather?)
"Ya, must be this global warming thing." (Why is she talking about the weather, maybe I should too?)
"Was the flight good?"
"Umm you know the flight attendant gave out gifts to all kids for it being some anniversary of some sort..."
A slight tendency to be politer than usual, nicer than usual. You can see the dance through the myriad confetti of questions falling about.
Are things still the same?
What have I missed in his life?
Will she still react the same way to my swearing?
Does he still drink the same beer?
Does she still like running barefoot on the beach
...we did that last time we met...but will it be the same today?
Is this the main reason that long distance relationships are most times doomed? The dances slowly become tedious. More tiresome. Longer. After all, the most important moments are the ones we're living right now. And we miss out on sharing these over large distances. Phones, texts, emails, voice chats, nothing quite compares to the human presence.
This happens to me even with my most personal relationship...that with my mum. Every phone call begins with the weather and polite inquiries about health and such. It always takes a few moments to establish the old connection. Of course one may chalk it up to my personal experience, but in my mind this dance is inevitable. I guess the stronger the bond, the shorter and faster the dance and I wonder if there really is such a thing as picking up where one left off, several years or miles away.
When two best friends meet after weeks apart. A nice salsa.
The guy is visited by his girlfriend who lives a hundred miles away. A slow jazz dance.
"So!" (smile)
"Ya, so! how are things?" (broader smile)
"Oh you know, same as usual." (Where do I start?)
"Ya, with me too!" (Where do I start?)
"Its so terrible nowadays, no? Raining more than usual." (Why am I talking about the weather?)
"Ya, must be this global warming thing." (Why is she talking about the weather, maybe I should too?)
"Was the flight good?"
"Umm you know the flight attendant gave out gifts to all kids for it being some anniversary of some sort..."
A slight tendency to be politer than usual, nicer than usual. You can see the dance through the myriad confetti of questions falling about.
Are things still the same?
What have I missed in his life?
Will she still react the same way to my swearing?
Does he still drink the same beer?
Does she still like running barefoot on the beach
...we did that last time we met...but will it be the same today?
Is this the main reason that long distance relationships are most times doomed? The dances slowly become tedious. More tiresome. Longer. After all, the most important moments are the ones we're living right now. And we miss out on sharing these over large distances. Phones, texts, emails, voice chats, nothing quite compares to the human presence.
This happens to me even with my most personal relationship...that with my mum. Every phone call begins with the weather and polite inquiries about health and such. It always takes a few moments to establish the old connection. Of course one may chalk it up to my personal experience, but in my mind this dance is inevitable. I guess the stronger the bond, the shorter and faster the dance and I wonder if there really is such a thing as picking up where one left off, several years or miles away.
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